Slump

I'm in a slump, evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this post instead of anything for the novel.

I can blame it on a lot of things, but the real reason is that I'm just exhausted and I way overreached when taking on this rather ambitious project.

That isn't to say I'm stopping, because I will finish this novel. I just don't think it's realistic for me to finish in the month of November. This week is Thanksgiving, next week I'm giving Benchmarks to my students, and then the month is over. The first weekend in December is the girl-child's 4th birthday and then it's finals and grading is due. Then winter break.

So writing lands on my low list of priorities... and did I mention I have homework? Like, my own teacher homework? This is thankfully my last year in BTSA (if you really want to know what it is, google it. The basics: it sucks). I really do have too many things up in the air...

I'm hoping to find time to write Wednesday in between pies (that's my Thanksgiving task). I'm also hoping to devote a good amount of time over winter break to writing. We have to pay for daycare regardless, and so I'll keep the kids in daycare for a few days and spend some time writing, lesson planning, and cleaning (isn't my life exciting?).

But this writing is hard work, without any real immediate return. While I don't expect everything I do to have instant gratification, I didn't really expect <i>nothing</i>. There's not much motivating me to write instead of, say, watch The Big Bang Theory. There's no pull to continue the story when I'm not really emotionally connected to it.

So I'm in a weird spot, where I'm determined to finish because I want to say that I have - and a part of me wants to quit completely because if I'm only doing this for me, then what's the point again? It's not like poetry, where the writing is cathartic. This story, while involving characters that are combinations of people I really know, doesn't hold any pull for me. There's no emotional buy-in from my end. I like Aileen, and I know too many Jeanie's... but... I don't know. I just don't feel like there's a compelling need to finish their story.

I will though. But just not in the month of November.

Maybe this summer I need to write one that I can really connect to.

Of course, it's likely I'll be teaching summer school. No wonder every English teacher is "working on" a novel - we never have time to finish anything as our jobs zap our time, energy, and (sometimes) will to live.

Kidding. Mostly.